This only happens to me. I think.

Funny things happen to me. A lot. It’s weird to me because I always say that funny things happen to funny people. Me? Not funny. Yet these things keep happening. 

Take today for instance.

I scheduled my doc appointment on my lunch break. Figured I’d be in and out and back to my office within, I don’t know, say 45 minutes.

Doc walks in and we get to chattin’. You know, normal small talk about work, kids, etc. You get the picture. I show him where my hip is still bugging and he does a few tests.  He figures out the issue within seconds (the man is a genius) so I’m stoked because I figure this will be easy peasy. He tells me I need to put a pair of shorts on and he’ll be right back. Guess my leggings weren’t cutting it.

He walks with shorts that look like scrubs that were approximately 25 times too big. Tells me to change and to open the door when I am done. These things were smokin’ hot I tell ya. I change then open the door and make a funny joke  “These hot pants should have been on the runway during fashion week.” while doing a spin. Crickets. I told you I am not funny.

He tells me to lay down and that he is going to do muscle stimulation and ultrasound first. I lay on my stomach and he starts to hook up the electrodes to my hip/glute. One goes on, we’re good, next one on and then silence. Weird. I decide I better keep convo going to break up the awkwardness. I get through 20-30 minutes of treatment by talking about running, mileage, marathons, whatevs. It was finally time to give my sexy shorts back, reschedule and say good-bye. Whew. Survived.

As I am walking to my car I am still trying to figure out where things went weird. Did I say something? No. Did I do something? No. And then it hits me…

He saw the butterfly tattoo. The one on my right butt cheek. The one I got when I turned 18. And it probably looked like it was going to fly away every time my glute contracted during muscle stim.

I can’t stop laughing.Crying laughing.

I immediately call LD and can barely get the story out because I am laughing so hard.

Ahhhhh my poor doc. I am sure he didn’t know what to think. That or he was snapping a pic and tweeting something like “Check out this piece of arse in my office.” Ok, that didn’t happen.

So to make things less I think I should write “Hi Doc” with a sharpie around it for my follow-up on Thursday. Wonder how that would work out…

~

Do these things happen to you? 

I was tagged again in 11 things so I will answer a few more ?’s in my next post and talk about the Pasadena Half that didn’t happen. Mommyhood. It rules.

The Rules

Let’s start out this Friday morning with a shout out to my alma mater:

The men’s basketball team has a HUUUUUGGGGEEEEE game tomorrow against BYU. Poms Poms ready? Check! Student’s have been in line all week for tickets. I was telling the hubs that the news showed a student holding a sign that said ” The only cougar we like is your Mom.” Love the enthusiasm. Hey guy who made that sign, if you are reading this, YOU RULE.

On to some news about me:

I really wanted to post a pic for you all of how tore up I looked at 4:30 this morning but I couldn’t get the flash on the camera to work. Maybe it felt bad for me. Have ever looked in the mirror and felt like you saw a butt staring back? That was me this morning. SCARY. So I appropriately dressed in all black. Yup, black covers ugly up.

Today’s workout: 25 min on the super rad spin bike, 40 min strength training.

Since I never talk about my gym I will share a few random facts. The motto is “Less Attitude, More Fitness.” (Lets be clear that the attitude part doesn’t apply to me). Since the focus is on fitness my gym has rules. I know, all gym’s have rules but my gym is a one-upper and has cooler rules than all of the other gyms.

Rule #1: No cell phones on the gym floor.

I love this rule. Seriously, you can’t possibly get your heart rate while gabbing on the phone- unless you are talking about how hot Christian Bale was in Batman.

Rule #2: No grunting, unless you are in labor

This eliminates the overly macho man from trying to lift weights that are waaaaaay to heavy. Buddy, no one cares that can’t bench press 1 million pounds. It’s ok to hang with me and the 5 pound dumb bells!

Rule #3: No Cursing

!@#$#!##%@!

I have never witnessed anyone break the rules so I am left wondering what happens if you do? I am not going to take any chances, but if you go to my gym and you witness something going down, CALL ME. I’ll be there to take pics for the blog!

Last shout of the morning goes to Berly M who notified me last night WAS NOT the season finale of the Jersey Shore. To celebrate she emailed me a picture of Shrek “fist pumpin’ like a champ”

LOVE.