Ask Big

I planned on posting this last Monday. And then Boston Happened. So I waited. And then Texas happened. So I waited. And then the shootout happened. So I waited.

In the midst of all the waiting and confusion I ran a lot. Two 20 mile runs in 6 days. During that time of solitude I realized that I just needed to write. In times of sadness, fear and desperation we need something to cling to. Positivity. Answers. Hope.

May this all serve us as a reminder that worry does nothing but cause undue stress. When we feel like hope is lost we can’t give up. Knees trembling? Kneel on em. Pray. Ask big.

I sincerely hope that this update brings you a little light.

~

April 1

“Call me when you land. Love ya.”

“Byyyeeeeee Daaaadddyyyyyyy.”

I figured dropping L off at the airport before 7 am on a Monday wouldn’t be too bad. I was wrong. It was busy as all get out.

I could tell he was nervous as he walked through the terminal doors. He gave one last wave good-bye and I pulled the car away. I felt awful that he had to go alone. I had planned on all of us going to Texas for mom’s birthday but it just wasn’t in the cards. In fact, it was only by the grace of God that he landed a voucher to get there. I mean, how often does Southwest allow a voucher with less than 24 hours notice on a holiday during Spring Break? Never. Ever.

I got the kids off to school and made my way into the office. I sent Pops (L’s dad) a text telling him that I was worried about how he was doing on the flight and suggested playing an April Fools Day joke on him to lighten the mood.

Two seconds later the phone rang.

“What, the April fools joke not a good idea?” Silence.

It was Pops. He didn’t sound good. “They said she may only have a week. But it looks like it could be only a few days. It’s bad. Real bad. As soon as L gets here we are admitting her into the hospice hospital.”

Silence. My heart sunk. I’m not ready for this. L is not ready for this. The family is not ready for this. I hate you cancer. Hate you. I cried. Alone.

It felt like hours until L called to tell me he made it. As soon as I answered the phone he lost it. He told me how jaundiced she was; the nurse said her liver was failing. I just let him talk and cry. Sometimes there aren’t any words that can make someone feel better. Sometimes you just need to be there to hug that person tight. It sucked being so far away.

That night I had so much going on in my mind. When do we tell the kids? Should we drive? Fly? School? Work? Blahhhhhhhhh.

April 2

It’s Mama Kay’s birthday. Pops decided the party would go on at the hospice hospital. They had the grandest cake I have seen (via photos) at a birthday and Mama had her hair and makeup done. What lady doesn’t want to feel beautiful on her birthday? She was glowing. More than 100 people came by to celebrate. Yes that says 100.

That night after things quieted down she told L she was ready to go home. Now, when a christian woman says she is ready to go “home” you need to clarify which one she is talking about. Well ,she did, and she meant home to her house. In Texas. He laughed it off but she was serious. “I’m going to be healed.”

April 3

I was ready for L to come home. I was up early to get work done and pack lunches for the kids.

Around 8 or so the phone rang. It was L. I prepared myself for what was to come. And when he did I couldn’t believe it.

“She’s going home”

What? Bueller? Hello.

“Did you just say she’s going home? From hospice? Are you sure?”

“That’s what they said. The jaundice is gone. Her vitals are up. She can walk on her own. She’s going home. I can’t believe it.”

“When?”

“Not sure, maybe tomorrow. The nurses can’t believe it. They want to monitor her.”

Wow. Going home. From being given maybe a week to a recovery and going home? I’ve never in my life heard of a patient being released from a hospice hospital. Ever.

As the days passed Mama Kay continued to improve. She made an appearance on the local news on April when Lane’s aunt completed a century ride to raise money for Pan Can. She has continued to attend her prayer group. She has been out to the mall and took a road trip to go antique shopping (her favorite). She has even been to the gym! THE GYM! TWICE! This strong woman went from laying in a hospital bed to a miraculous discharge home and is living every minute of it.

Here her journal entry that she shared via Caring Bridge on April 9th:

 

God, my strength and my redeemer!

Written Apr 9, 2013 10:42am

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of  my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, Oh Lord, my strength and redeemer. Psalm 19:4

I do not have ways or means to tell everyone who participated in a weekend I shall never forget. It started the prior weekend with the visit of my younger son, Chase, and his fam. along with his mother-in-law, Debi Teague. We shared and prayed, laughed, cried and it was wonderful in the sharing of Chase and my mutual birthday party! I was able to talk with each one individually and share my love for them and they did the same.
The following week, I was put in the Hospice Hospital and told I’d never return home. So  my come-and go-birthday was rerouted to a room provided by Hospice. I us humbled by the outpouring of love and support that evening. Surprising all, 2 days later I was dismissed to go home. That day I was met by the couple from Ft. Worth by Melody and Danny Fisher who have been burdened for me and has traveled to my home several times to pray and share what God had put on their hearts. This time they were joined by Jim Bohi who had several cancer healing stories to share. He prayed the most amazing prayer for a “new pancreas”, not to fix the old one. Melody prayed an awesome heart-felt and anointed prayer for me.I have felt well since.
These are only a few of the stories and blessings bestowed on me but the prayer support has been the most amazing to me. This entry is long but could be much, much longer. Thanks for the prayers and please continue. My physical body has been sick for over a year so I have some strength to gain. It is off to a miraculous start. I have so much to tell and plan to start giving back to God asap. Had a great planning meeting with some friends for God’s will in this endeavor.

Everything works together to unfold God’s plan!

God is good, all the time!

Love to All,             Kay

As I read this entry tears streamed down my face. We take so much for granted. We believe that we will have a tomorrow to say I love you. We often forget how fragile life is. We need to be thankful for every.single.day.

Is her cancer gone? Chances are no. Do I believe she has been blessed with additional time to do good work? YOU BETCHA.

HE says to ask for what we need. To PRAY BIG and be led not by sight but by faith. My Mama Kay is proof that HE is in charge. By his grace she is still here with a big smile on her face.

“Don’t be afraid, just believe” Mark 5:36

~

So there you have it. A positive story of what unwavering faith and a strong will can do. Sometimes crap is just thrown at us. When it is we just need to take a deep breath, hold our heads high and forge on. Trials are blessings in disguise 🙂

I hope this week has been a good one for you all. I’m in the peak of marathon training and I am stinking tired! I will be running the La Jolla half marathon this weekend. Depending on how my legs feel Sunday my goals may need to be altered a bit. I could be jogging. Or wogging. Or crawling. Who knows. Fun is all that matters, right?!