* Short Version: Ashley brings the lawyer from LA on a one-on-one and makes him dance with a flash mob. He can’t dance, looks super awkward and makes me feel like puking. Zorro decides to reveal himself and is still creepy. Really. creepy. She then has a super group date in which they “Roast Ashley.” All of the guys play it safe…except for William. William tries to be funny, gets crickets and makes Ashley cry. Bentley continues to mind “F” Ashley and then leaves the show. See ya later captain narcissist. After having a total breakdown Ash ends with a one-on-one with JP. They do a date at her house, eat chinese, hang by the fire. She changes into jammies, puts on her glasses and he still likes her. He wins. HA, kidding. Ashley cancels cocktail party, still gives William a rose and boots off Jeff (the masked man) and Chris D.
I am feeling quite irritated with how scripted this season is. It’s almost gross. I understand when production can’t hear something or misses a shot, but when it becomes so obvious that we are seeing a reenactment I want to change the channel. But don’t. Or maybe I do, but only during a commercial break and that’s because LD has a lead thumb.
Ashley’s first one-on-one of the night is with Ben C, the attorney from Louisiana.
She takes him for a dance lesson and then somehow convinces him to go practice the dance at Caruso Mall in front of everyone and their moms. Really, this wasn’t scripted at all. What dude says yes to that? COME ON ABC! Anyway, back to the show. So they are practicing “the dance” when everyone joins in. You guessed in, BACHELORETTE FLASH MOB.
Worst. Flashmob. Ever. Seriously. Ever. One of the worst parts? Ben lip syncing the song. Oh man, if I can find video of it I’ll edit this post. Sorry Ben, you are not “fly like a G 6.” It doesn’t matter what I like right? Apparently Ashley likes him because he got a rose. Or maybe she just felt bad for him. Hmmmmm
Post Band Stand USA we head back to the house to learn that Bentley, Ames, Ben F. Blake, Jeff, Lucas, Nick, Ryan and William will all be going on a group date with Ash. Right before the troops head out Zorro decides he ready for the big reveal. He pulls Ashley aside and once again gives her the spiel about looks not mattering and that true love is based on what’s inside. She looks pretty annoyed yet he continues with his speech (which lasts about 3-4 minutes). Finally, drum roll, he takes it off (the mask that is. Get your mind out of gutter)
Ashley just hugs him and moves along. Its super awkward. At that point LD and I both knew he was not going to get a rose.
After the big reveal the dudes head off on their group date where they learn they will roast Ashley. She says to bring it on, but we all know in girl talk that means you can be funny but you better be nice. Some of the guys knew this and played it super safe. They ripped on one another and took little jabs at Ash but nothing serious. Then comes William. Remember him telling her he wants to be a stand up comedian. Yeah. Bless his heart. He just wanted to be funny. He started off by taking a jab and saying he thought the bachelorette was going to be Emily or Chantel but he ended up with this (meaning Ash) OUCH! He then rips on her small boobs (in his defense so did some of the other guys) but by that time it was too late. He had crickets and Ashley was off crying. She says her biggest insecurity was the guys wanting the bachelorette to be Emily and instead got her.
At this point we know one of the dudes will score points and go console her right? Who do you think came to the rescue? You guessed it!
Yes he is the villain of the show, but this took it to a whole notha’ level. It was the start of down right cruelty. His intent was to suck her in and then bail on her. Who does that? Yes she was warned about him but that doesn’t make it ok to act like a total shmuck. Come on man, your mom is watching.
So Ashley feels all safe and happy and secure since Bentley is consoling her and she tells him that Michelle Money sold him out prior to the show. Bwahahahaha another villain busted you out buddy (although it clearly did not work). He never denies it but instead says “he is with her every step of the way.” This, of course, leads Ashley to ask him if she can trust him and what do you think he says? Duh, YES. She gets all shmoopy while he is giving the camera super smug look.
At the end of the group date I for sure thought she would give Bentley the rose but she doesn’t! She gives it to Ryan (the solar energy guy). This ticks Bentley off (since he just wants to “win”) and he decides he is packing his bags and going home.
The following morning he goes to the house and tells Ashley he misses his daughter and needs to go home. She is bawling. She told him she thought he was “the one.” He holds her while she continues to cry her eyes out but then tells us that he annoyed. I think he said something along the lines that he talks to her like he is interested in her but the difference is he is not “f’ing” interested. She might be a girl he would hook up with every now and again but that’s it. He gives her some line about not knowing what could be and leaves it with a dot dot dot. LAME. He finally leaves and she goes into full meltdown mode.
The last one-on-one is literally hours after this. Nice timing producers. JP shows up and she asks if they can just have the date at her house. They order Chinese and eat by the fire. She asks him if its ok to change and they can just hang. She comes out in pajamas with her hair back and glasses on. JP magically changed into PJ bottoms (how ever did he know to bring flannels, lol) and they hung out by the fire. He tells Ashley he is there because he wants to be and that he really likes her. They super make out and she says he is a better kisser than Bentley. Not sure if she means it or if she is trying to make herself feel better but it seems like she means it! They interview JP who says it was the “best date ever.” Awwwwww.
We then see the cut to what should be the cocktail party/rose ceremony. Ashley tells Chris Harrison she isn’t up to the par-tay and just wants to go straight to the rose ceremony. William gets bummed because he will not get a chance to apologize. Guess she forgave him because he gets a rose. I have a feeling it may be the last one he gets. She is not going to get over the roast.
Eliminated Dudes: Chris D and Jeff (aka Zorro)
As Zorro walks away he throws his mask into a fire. What a jack-hole. Dude, maybe if you didn’t play the masked man card things would have been different. Sorry dude, you lose.
So if you saw the episode what did you think? Do you think the producers will bring Bentley back?
~ They always bring someone back. I could see them bringing him back to stir up the pot! We’ll see
Ok, let’s get into the giveaway!
I was cleaning out my stuff and found these babies in a drawer:
They are Tifosi Sunglasses. The style is Vogel and the color is Pink Tortoise. They have been stored in a case and still have the microfiber cleaning bag. I only wore them a few times- they have no scratches. They just don’t fit me right. I think I have crooked ears because they slant on my face.
I love these glasses but I can’t rock them when they do not fit right. I would rather give them to someone who can love em! They do not bounce when running and are super light!!
So, if you want the opportunity to win these babies just comment on this post and say “My running future is so bright, I have to wear shades”